A few weeks ago, we accompanied Anna to Amsterdam, where she will study at the University. She is our youngest daughter. Marco left home years ago to study in France, where he graduated, and now lives in Brussels, and Giulia is in her third year of medical school, also living in another town. After twenty-plus years, the nest is empty. It’s a strange feeling wandering around the house knowing that none of the kids are around. Despite feeling nostalgic, Serena and I are doing well. We’re getting used to this new life as a seasoned couple.
It’s also because of this recent changes in our lives that I could appreciate the story of the three-day hiking trip that Dries Buytaert took with his son Axl in the French Alps. Axl has just finished high school and will soon be at University, so this hike served as a rite of passage for both of them. I profoundly understand Dries’s emotional moment:
As we sat down, we had time for deeper conversations. We talked about how life will change now that he is eighteen and about to leave for university. I told him our hike felt symbolic. The climb up was like the years behind us, when his parents, myself included, made most of the important decisions in his life. The way down would be different. From here he would choose his own path in life, and my role would be to walk beside him and support him. Saying it out loud caught me by surprise. It left me with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. It felt as if we would leave one version of Axl at the summit and return with another, stepping into adulthood and independence.
Sustaining our children from afar is demanding and draining in many ways, but it is also rewarding. We observe their struggles and accomplishments from a distance, sometimes worried and feeling powerless and unhelpful, yet with a sense of pride and achievement that is unparalleled.